Over the last 40 years I have asked over 2000 women clients this question:
Why don’t you want to have sex with your husband/boyfriend?
They have shared many reasons (see below) but those reasons ALL fall into two simple and distinct categories. I have decided to share the reasons in hopes my men (and women) readers will pay attention, make a few changes, and then get happy.
A little background information could also be helpful.
Adults only want sex with other adults.
Sexual intimacy between humans is designed to be conducted between two consenting ADULTS. If one partner exhibits too much childish or immature behavior, then her or his partner will naturally lose interest. For example, if a partner (male or female) behaves like a child, the natural incest taboo is activated and the other partner, who is behaving as an adult or a parent, will naturally avoid sexual contact. Adults and parents are programmed to avoid sexual contact with children even if that child is physically over 21.
What follows are reasons or examples of things men do or don’t do that cause loss of sexual interest in their partners. Most, if not all, can be connected to Points 1 and 2 above, too little masculine energy or behavior or too much childishness.
Why won’t your wife (girlfriend) have sex with you?
There are two basic reasons that apply to over 95% of men who have this difficulty.
Reason 2 – You don’t act like an adult. (Reason 1 is here)
Countless wives make statements like this one: “I gave birth to 2 children but I often feel as if I have three.” These wives are turned off sexually because they experience their husbands as immature or childish. Adult women do not find children or adolescents sexually attractive. As I stated above, adult human beings are naturally structured to avoid sex with children and adolescents. If a wife has a constant experience of her husband as immature, she will quickly lose a desire to connect with him sexually. Yes, he may be a good guy, and yes he may have quite a few positive qualities. However, if he acts like a child too often, she will not want to go to bed with him.
A man (husband) will be seen as childish/adolescent if he frequently grabs his wife’s butt like a teenager, makes adolescent jokes, refuses to take adult responsibility for bills, ordinary household chores and childcare, takes his children’s side against his wife, does not practice good hygiene, tries to turn all physical contact into sexual foreplay, makes sports (watching or viewing) more important than quality time with her, cannot be emotionally intimate, acts like blowjobs are the ultimate sexual experience, refuses to learn to dress himself appropriately, does not pick up after himself, has to constantly be reminded to handle normal responsibilities, avoids disciplining the children…the list is endless but the point is clear. Too many men act like children and then want get upset because their wives go cold to their advances.
If you want more sex, pay attention and make some adult decisions. She will love (want) you for it!