For the first time in my dating career, my current love interest is a younger guy. He’s ridiculously sexy with brains and a sense of humour to match his good looks. (lately I’ve found myself going more for the “old salt types” with mixed results, so this new crush comes as a refreshing surprise!)
We were talking the other night, when he says to me “I like the messages you send me. You always seem to take the time to write proper responses. You say “You” instead of “U.” It comes across as very thoughtful.”
This is probably partly because I’m a writer and tend to be fairly verbose (even over text), however I also think it says something about our age gap.
The generation gap between Millenials and their older Generation X counterparts is evident in every aspect of culture – including how they communicate while dating. Master Matchmaker Krystal Walter of Krystal Walter Professional Matchmaking has observed a wide range of dating habits, one of which is extremely popular as of late: sexting.
“Most people would assume that Millenials are automatically better sexters because they grew up with cell phones and technology around them,” explains Walter, “I would argue that Generation X’ers actually have a leg up on the Millenials” says Walter.
Although we haven’t quite ventured into the territory of sexting, as someone who identifies more as being part of Generation X than a Millenial, it doesn’t surprise me that the way I use technology to communicate is different than some of the younger women my love interest has dated.
As Krystal Walter explains, Millenials grew up in the digital age which means the depth of their online interaction tends to be shallower. Millenials are happy to send a quick 3 word text in lieu of a phone call, or simply swipe right to indicate their interested in a date. Full, fleshed out conversations have, for the most part, become foreign to them.
Up until mid-way through university, face to face, phone and handwritten communications were the norm. If you liked someone, you’d swap phone numbers and wait for one of you to make the first move and call. There was a certain patience there, something that’s kind of absent when it comes to dating and hooking up in the digital era.
As Walter notes, Generation X’ers thirst for real conversation is what Walter says sets them apart from the Millenials when it comes to sexting.
“Sexting is all about imagination, description, and connection,” Walter explains, “Many Millenials just don’t have the patience for this type of interaction. Nowadays, texting and mobile dating apps make it easy to just send photos back and forth. It’s very direct and tends to take away the playfulness of sexting.”
Between online dating and mobile apps, it’s even faster and easier to find dates and interact with them. However, Walter is careful to point out that this is where both Millenials and Generations X’ers could afford to slow down.
“Don’t let the conveniences of technology completely take over your love life,” Krystal warns, “if you’re sexting, make sure you are using it as a way of encouraging face-to-face interaction; that means leaving the not-so-subtly sexy selfies out of it and focusing on what you want to say in your texts.”
So, how do you send a good sext? Easy. Do as your mother taught you: use your words. Tell instead of show. A sext sent to the object your lust is meant to make them want more, not show them the whole package (literally.)