Last night, I hung out with my good friend Megan who is 25, gorgeous, newly divorced and just moved to a new city. She’s looking to start fresh with a clean slate, and her ultimate goal is to fall in love again and remarry. Right now though, as she explained to me over drinks last night, she’s just looking for hookups with “hot guys…the hotter the better.” šŸ™‚ She went on to tell me that she hopes that one of the guys she’s seeing casually will stick…meaning, she’ll fall for him, he’ll fall for her, and voila!

THEY WILL FALL IN LOVE. Just like in the movies, right!

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I nearly choked on my Guinness when I heard her plan and decided it was time for some tough love. I’m pretty sure it doesn’t work that way. I mean, of course it can happen that way, but it’s not the norm and not to be counted on. Sometimes I think Sex and the City has really messed us up!

It’s natural to always want more, to always expect or hope for a fairytale ending. With dating though, it’s safer to accept things and people at face value. If a guy tells you he’s not looking for anything serious, it’s in your best interest to believe him. Pinning your expectations on someone else totally sets you up for disappointment, and takes the fun out of it.

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Casual dating is exciting, and sexy and freeing, but it’s not secure. It’s not stable or boring or serious. My biggest advice to Megan was to let it be, and be in the moment on each date she went on. To enjoy each night, each hot make-out session, each flirty text.

And then, if sparks do fly, if there is a connection that goes deeper than casual hookups, she can start hoping for more of a serious romance or sex and the city worthy ending, but for now…enjoy it.

This post was originally published here.

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