How to Give a Sexier, Safer Blowjob

Oral sex can be a fabulous part of a healthy and active casual sex life. One of the best parts of casual dating is being able to experience many different people, from how they are at a restaurant to how they are between the sheets. Everyone has a different technique and slightly different anatomy. While most people have embraced using a condom during penetrative casual sex as a no-brainer, too few choose the safe route when going down to perform blow jobs.

No glove, no love.

Every time the topic of oral sex comes up, someone mentions how they can’t imagine doing it with a condom. (Rarely do we talk about the condom’s less popular cousin, the dental dam. That’s perhaps a topic for another day.) What they don’t consider is that plenty of infections can be transmitted through microscopic tears in the skin of your mouth, or by swallowing ejaculate. In fact, you can contract anything from thrush and gonorrhea, which are both easily treatable, to herpes, HPV, and HIV. The good news is that you don’t have to choose between putting yourself at risk and having a hot sex life.

Use an Ultra-thin, Premium Condom. 

The key to a safe and sexy blow-job is choosing the right condom. I really love SKYN condoms, they are by far my favorite. The thinness of their non-latex material makes them the perfect blowjob condom. They taste like virtually nothing and they’re incredibly sheer. Because they’ve been my go-to condoms for about two years now, I always keep a big box handy. So, in order to prove that a safe and sexy blowjob was possible, I grabbed my partner and a condom and got down to it.

The biggest difference between a bare blowjob and a SKYN blowjob is that each movement needs to be just a bit more intense. It’s sort of like play-acting. In order to make an impression on the audience, things need to be big and dramatic. Suction needs to be a bit more intense, movement up and down the shaft should be longer and more deliberate, and tiny tongue gestures stand to get lost in the condom material.

Wetter is Better. 

One thing that I consider a definite plus is that SKYN condoms come generously pre-lubricated. This means more sensation for the partner wearing the condom, and less risk of dry lips for the partner going down. SKYN condoms aren’t flavored, but they have significantly less of a taste than a traditional latex condom. They are compatible with flavored lubricants that are condom-safe, so if you want to give your favor a little fruity kick, by all means.

Finally, using a condom answers the age-old question, “Spit or swallow?” Neither. It’s taken care of, and so is your safety.

Blow Job Tips and More From The Author of The Bad Girl’s Bible

Sean Jameson is an author and sex coach from Ireland, and the author of the Bad Girl’s Bible. Whether you are looking to learn some new and interesting sex positions or you want to give your man a wonderful blow-job or even if you want to learn to talk dirty to your man, Sean Jameson is your man.

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Looking to take your sex life to new heights? Luckily, we were able to catch up with Sean and get him to provide us with some expert tips.

What made you want to write the Bad Girl’s Bible?

It’s funny actually, I never planned to create the Bad Girl’s Bible. It all came about from a girlfriend when I was living in Australia. We got on like a house on fire in every aspect of our relationship…except the bedroom. The problem was that she was a bit of a perfectionist in most aspects of her life (which actually made her pretty dam awesome!) but she was also quite shy & nervous when getting intimate. This meant that she wanted our sex life to be ‘perfect’, but was too afraid to try anything in case it wasn’t ‘perfect’. It was quite frustrating.

Sex Advice

I really wanted the relationship to work, so I decided to do everything I could to give her the confidence & skills to rock my world in the bedroom. That is how why I started read every book I could get my hands on, listened to every podcast & audio course I could find and watched hours & hours of seminars and video instructions. I couldn’t find any one excellent source of advice. It was either some uber-spiritual guru talking about ‘energy flow’ or some pornstar giving advice on impossible to perform sex positions. I was able to use 1 or maybe 2 ideas from each book or course I read, but the problem was that I just couldn’t find any simple, down to earth advice that actually worked for normal people.

So I started to keep a notebook of these tips that actually worked & helped my girlfriend to improve. At first there were just a few ideas in the notebook, but eventually I filled it from cover to cover. And the best part was that these tips actually worked! My girlfriend quickly became a rockstar in bed by making just a few simple changes & improvements. I was so pleased (& turned on) with the improvement.

Because the change was so dramatic, I decided to start a newsletter for fun, sending tips out to people every week or so.

That newsletter turned into a snowball!

More and more people signed up and started sending me questions. Many of the questions were very similar, so instead of repeating myself in every reply, I felt it would be easier to just have a website to direct people to. And the Bad Girl’s Bible was born!

When working on creating the Bad Girl’s Bible, what’s the #1 thing you learned about women and sex?

The #1 thing I learned about women and sex is:

If you want to sexually satisfy your man & having him obsessed with only you, then you need to understand that it’s not just the techniques you use in the bedroom (even though I can teach you plenty of awesome ones!). You need to learn how to build sexual tension too. 

Understand how to become good at building sexual tension, then your man will spend hours & days thinking about what you have in store for him. If you can really do it properly, then he will be obsessively fantasizing about you…so when you do use my techniques he will be in a world of ecstasy & eager for more.

In your opinion, what’s the key to being a good lover?

Enthusiasm.

It’s incredible what enthusiasm will do for your sex life. Being enthusiastic gives you this amazing ability to make sex more passionate & intimate even if you don’t know that many different techniques.

What do men wish women did more of in bed?

Honestly, it all depends on your man. Guys sadly aren’t all built the same, so there is no one size fits all solution. It’s usually a case of experimenting and seeing what your man responds best to. Some great starting points are:

– Taking the initiative
– Getting a little rougher than usual
– Surprising him with a blow job or hand job when he least expects it (when watching TV, when he wakes up, etc.)

The key with all of these examples (and whatever else you try) is making sure to get feedback from your man to see what kinds of things he likes & doesn’t like.

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Blow Jobs

What are your top 3 tips for giving a great blow-job?

1. The top of his penis is by far the most sensitive, so focus your attention there with your tongue, lips and hands (yes, you should be using your hands during your blow jobs!). The great thing about this is it means you never even have to take his penis that deep in order to provide him with lots of pleasure.

2. Keep trying new things & adding to your repertoire. As well as trying new blow job techniques, try varying the positions you use, where you give them (bedroom, living room, shower, outside, etc.) as well as the speed at which you do it. That old phrase “variety is the spice of life” is still true today.

3. Get feedback from your man. I know you may be expecting me to give you that one ‘perfect’ technique, but truthfully it just doesn’t exist. A great blow job for one guy may be a lousy blow job for another. So try some different techniques and then get some feedback. There’s no need to hand him a detailed survey after each blow job! Just ask him what techniques he enjoyed the most and why.


And now something to help you out with the ladies satisfaction:

The DOs and DON’Ts of Going Down On a Woman

Oral sex is great when it’s done right. Here are the DOs and DON’Ts of going down on a woman. Fellas, Learn them, love them, tell your friends. The women in your life will be eternally thankful.

1. Don’t approach the task like you’re doing her a favour

There’s nothing worse than a guy who thinks that by going down on you he’s doing you some big favour or like you’re some kind of hero for getting that close to her lady bits. You know what’s also not cool? Bargaining. If you say things like “I’ll only go down on you if________” (you get a brazilian wax, go down on me, wear a sombrero). Buddy, consider yourself lucky to even be down there in the first place. You’re giving her pleasure. If you don’t enjoy it, trust there’s 5 other guys behind you who’d happily take on the task with a smile on their face.

2. Think of it like a delicious dessert

Think of her vagina as a wonderful dessert ready to be savoured slowly. There’s no need to rush or go at it aggressively. Take your time and enjoy – she will too!

3. Watch your chin, honey

 
We want your lips and tongue on us, not your chin. Somewhere along the line it’s like there was a memo sent out to men that said, “Going down on her? Stick your chin in there!” which, truthfully, is the last thing most of us want. We understand that you want to enjoy as much of us as possible, but that doesn’t mean you should rub your chin into our vagina – unless you’re trying to make things weird and awkward.

4. Keep in mind your beard can hurt us

Yet another reason why you should keep your chin out of the game: stubble. You may think it feels awesome to have your manly stubble touching our lady bits but it doesn’t. It hurts. Sort of like how I imagine it would feel if someone took a sheet of sandpaper and rubbed it up and down your penis. Yeah, that.

5. Too much saliva is just too much

Although wetness is definitely a good thing, there’s nothing good about making her feel like her vagina and surrounding areas are swimming your saliva. Keep things wet, but not too wet – you want to still have enough friction so that she can feel your tongue stimulating her clitoris. And whatever you do, don’t spit on her vagina (or anywhere really!) – unless of course you’re looking to have your oral sex rights revoked.

6. Listen & Don’t Add

Listen to the sounds she’s making. If her noises indicate that what you’re doing is turning her on, keep. doing. whatever. you’re. doing. Her moans of pleasure are NOT a sign that you should completely switch things up and try that weird thing with your thumb that you once saw on a porno. Just keep going! She’ll let you know when she wants you to go harder or faster.

7. Don’t assume 69 is a given

Although I firmly believe that oral sex should be given and received, it doesn’t have to happen at exactly the same time. If you don’t know someone that well yet, the 69 position can be one of the most awkward things EVER. There’s nothing worse than being on the verge of orgasm due to your guy’s tongue skills, only to have a dangling set of balls suddenly hit you in the face.

8. Same goes for rough fingering

A finger can stimulate a much more precise area than a penis – which can be super awesome. However, keep in mind that just because things are going well down there and she’s enjoying herself, doesn’t mean that you should jam two or three fingers in her and start going at it like you’re jackhammering concrete. Ask before you insert. Most likely she either wants you to keep doing what you’re doing or wants you to gently insert a finger or two to delicately stimulate her. No jackhammering necessary.

9. Don’t lap at it like a cartoon cat, motorboat it or eat it like a cob of corn

We don’t want you to lap at our vaginas like a kitty cat enjoying a bowl of milk – that’s so, VERY creepy. Also, there’s no need to motorboat our lady bits, the only thing this will accomplish is making us cringe and wish we hadn’t agreed to sleep with you in the first place. Lastly, do not gnaw on us like a cob of corn from the state fair. Instead, lick, kiss, lick some more.

10. No teeth please

Just how you don’t like it when we use our teeth during a blow job, we also don’t appreciate the feeling of being gnawed on like a piece of meat. In fact, it feels super gross and icky. Keep your teeth to yourself, your lady will thank you & promptly return the favour.

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