No matter how good you are between the sheets (or on top of them, or somewhere else…), every man and woman can learn how to pleasure their partner(s) more! We have created one of the best sex advice for women guides you will find, have a read and try some of these out:
10 Sex Experiences Every Woman Needs to Have
Ladies of the world, this is for y’all. Sex can be great and it can be no-so-great, and I’ve compiled a list of experiences that combine both that every woman needs to have. Why? Because it will help shape your sexual future. Your future, Marty! Let’s get right into it.
1. Having sex when you feel “fat.”
There are times when I don’t want to have sex because I’m too worried about my body, and how ridiculous is that? Because the thing is, the person having sex with you probably doesn’t care about your tummy — because they’re having sex with you. So don’t worry about what you look like. Just enjoy the experience. You’ll feel so much better after (and during!).
2. Trying something new in bed.
Sometimes new = scary, and it’s time to put a stop to that. Don’t be afraid to try new things in bed. You might like them! And if you don’t, you can always say, “Okay, I changed my mind, I don’t like this” and that’s it, the end. So go ahead and try something new.
3. Realizing the fantasy isn’t as good as the real thing.
There are times in life when you build up something so much in your head, that the reality of what it is, is a disappointment. Sex can be like this, too. In some ways I think it’s important to have that reality come crashing down on you, because it makes you realize that you have to take the moments as they come, and not build them up in your mind. You have to live in reality, and in the present. And sometimes, you just have to know. If the fantasy is as good then, hey — bonus!
4. Having sex with an unselfish partner.
Hopefully all your sex experiences are with unselfish partners, but every woman needs to experience sex with a truly giving, completely selfless person. It makes you feel like a goddess, and makes you more comfortable with your own sexuality.
5. Having embarrassing sex.
By which I mean something like, having sex at a party where everyone knows you’re doing it, or doing something during the act that’s embarrassing (like when Carrie farted in bed in front of Big and freaked out for the rest of the episode.) Why? To prove that you can rise above it! When we’re embarrassed, we’re faced with a challenge: do we cave into the humiliation, or do we hold our head high? We grow more when we hold our heads high. So don’t be afraid of a little embarrassment. It’s good for the soul.
6. Getting it on with that “forbidden” person.
Don’t do anything illegal here. I mean something like, having sex with your brother’s friend. The taboo stuff, not the illegal stuff. Don’t try to seduce your chemistry teacher. Having taboo sex, or getting it on with that forbidden person, is a giddy thrill that everyone should try, as long as it doesn’t lead to hurt feelings or jail time. AGAIN, DON’T DO ANYTHING ILLEGAL.
7. Vacation sex.
Don’t get to take many vacations? Hey, that’s okay — a vacation can be a state of mind. Have a “staycation” where you decide to stay in all weekend and do NOTHING — except banging. Think of it as a necessary rejuvenation process.
8. Doing it with someone who “isn’t your type.”
Having sex with someone who “isn’t your type” might just be the best sex of your life! How would you know unless you try it? Of course, you have to be somewhat attracted to the person for it to really sizzle, so what I’m suggesting here isn’t necessarily going opposite your type, but instead, broadening your horizons. Maybe you only go for super skinny David Bowie-esque guys, but that dude in glasses and ironic T-shirts is really doing it for you. Persue it! You might be pleasantly surprised.
9. Having sex on your period.
To quote Louis C.K.: “Young guys are afraid of women’s bodies. ‘My girlfriend’s having her period. What do I do?’ Fuck her in the period hole, you idiot. What’s the dilemma? I don’t give a shit. If you’re having your period, come on over. I’m 41. Let me fuck the shit out of you. I’ll drink the blood. Let’s party.” Ladies, having your period isn’t something you should be ashamed of, and it shouldn’t prevent you from having sex. It’s just life. Get over it.
10. Having sex with someone older.
Having sex with someone significantly older than you are (BUT STILL LEGAL), is an experience everyone should have. I can only speak to having sex with older men, and I can say, it’s great. Older guys, like Louis C.K. mentioned, are fearless compared to younger dudes. And they have experience. And they want to please you. It all makes for a great sexual experience!
Which sexual experiences did I leave out? Cheers!
Photo by Jean KOULEV via Flickr.
15 Things Women Should Do More Of in Bed
Recently we wrote an article about the 5 Things That Men Should Do More of in Bed, so we thought it was only fair that we wrote one for the ladies out there that answers the age old question, “What are men thinking?” (especially when it comes to sex!) To gather data, I consulted one of my favourite sexy, writerly male friends for his input.
Unsurprisingly, what men are looking for are the same things we’re looking for in a bedmate: passion, authenticity and the courage to really let go & enjoy the experience.
Here’s 15 things women should do more of in bed (as told to me by a real, live man who thoroughly enjoys sex)
Sex Advice for Women
1. “Passion. Even at the expense of technique.”
2. “I want sounds. Growls. Purrs.”
3. “Loud sometimes.”
4. “Teasingly quiet if people might hear.”
5. “Louder if we want people to hear.”
6. “I want nails on my back.”
7. “I want her to be assertive. To put my hands where she wants them, if I am not getting them there quickly enough.”
8. “I want her to put ME where she wants me.”
9. “I want her to know the powers of a look. Like looking up when she’s going down. Or looking down when she’s on top.”
10. “I want to know what she wants. Especially the first time. You can bet I’ll remember every fucking bit of it from then on.”
11. “I want places that aren’t beds.”
12. “I want to lock eyes to make the connection.”
13. “I want a woman who knows that it should be an event. Every time.”
14. “I want a women who uses oral sex to tease, to reward, to control.”
15. “I want whispered taboo fantasies and screams of “MORE!””
What are you looking for in bed?
(photo via weheartit.com)
7 Things Men Wish You Knew In Bed
1. He wants to watch. As in, watch you please yourself. Nothing turns a guy on more than watching the girl he’s with turn herself on. Show him exactly what you like and how you want to be touched.
2. He thinks you’re the hottest woman in the world.Why? Well, because you’re naked. And you’re letting him have sex with you. Easy as that. Women are always so caught up with wondering if their partner is judging their bodies or picking out their flaws, but men aren’t worried about if your thighs look fat or not. He’s too busy trying to get in between them.
3. He doesn’t know how he feels. Men can easily separate sex and their feelings. When he’s having a great time in bed with you, it might seem like he’s in love…until it’s over. Take everything a guy says in the heat of the moment with a grain of salt…it could just be the sex talking.
4. He is worried you aren’t enjoying yourself. During sex, a guys inner monologue usually goes like this-“Is she making noise? Does she like what I’m doing? I hope she’s not bored. Should I ask her?” As much as he is excited about an orgasm of his own, his ego is more worried that he won’t live up to your expectations. Let’s face it, every man want to be the best you’ve ever had.
5. He’s glad you’re not a porn star. Porn stars are hot…from a distance. Most guys don’t want to be with a girl who will let them do anything to her and never say no, or who wear a pound of make-up and moan like they are trying to get an Oscar for best actress. Men like real women…like you!
6. He gets turned on when you take control. Tell him what you want, or better yet, show him! Having sex with a girl who just lays on her back and smiles gets boring fast. Jump on top, whisper instructions in his ear or tie him up if you have to…this is the one time he won’t complain about you being “bossy”.
7. He wants to cuddle..and then do it again. Or maybe eat a sandwich.
What to Do When He Can’t Get it Up
It’s not the sexiest thing, but it doesn’t have to be a mood killer. Plenty of men – young, old, experienced, innocent – experience occasional difficulty getting or maintaining an erection. This can be health related, performance related, psychological, emotional. For as many men as there are, there are reasons why they might occasionally have a hard time getting hard. If it’s just an occasional occurrence, or if this is your first time sleeping together, it’s probably not erectile dysfunction. Before thinking about saying sayonara to your new lover (or fuck buddy), or recommending he see a doctor (ouch!), there a few tactics you can try to make things go a little bit smoother next time.
Don’t baby him.
Especially if this is casual sex, babying him will make him feel even more embarrassed. Make sure to say, “It’s ok,” but something like, “Aw, sweetie!” just isn’t going to help his ego.
Don’t take it personally.
It’s not you. It’s not your body, it’s (probably) not something you said, and it’s not that he’s not attracted to you. You should safely assume that if someone is in bed with you, they’re into you.
Make it clear that you’re enjoying yourself
A nice way to keep things sexual but low-pressure is to offer him a back massage. Sometimes, he just needs to relax. Some men might prefer to go down on you, which can be a great tool to help him get excited and take his mind off his penis. If he doesn’t make the move to go down, but asks if there’s anything he can do for you, come up with something you’d like, be it oral sex, toy play, or a back rub. Being able to do something that brings you pleasure will instill some confidence in him.
Communication is key: “Would it help if I…”
It may feel a little bit awkward to ask your partner if it would be help or be okay if you tried ______, but it’s much less awkward than sitting there, not knowing what to do. “Would it help if I went down on you?” As in most situations, a smile really helps. If you’re annoyed and frustrated, it’ll show, and then neither of you will be having fun.
Sometimes, it’s just not happening, and that’s ok.
Sometimes these things just happen. Apply the golden rule, and just be nice. If you’re the cuddling type, suggest you get your snug on while watching a movie. Try to enjoy the rest of your night, even if it wasn’t what you were planning. There’s always morning sex.
(Photo credit: weheartit.com)
How to Have Smoother, Hotter, Sex With Lube
For some reason, lubricants have gotten a rather unsexy – and undeserved – bad rap. It’s time to clear up some of the myths and misunderstandings surrounding lubricant. Soon, you’ll see why a good lube or two deserve a place in your goodie drawer.
Myth #1: If you’re aroused, you won’t need lubricant.
This is unequivocally false! Arousal is different for everyone, and there are a lot of factors surrounding your production of natural lubrication. If you’re taking hormonal birth control pills or using an intra-vaginal or intra-uterine device, your natural lubrication can be affected. If you’re taking antihistamines for allergies, those can cause dryness. When you’re in the middle of an amazing marathon sex session, you might run out of natural lubrication. Needing to use lube does not necessarily have anything to do with your arousal level; so, if your partner needs lube, don’t be offended.
Myth #2: Lube will give me a yeast infection or a UTI.
Some lubricant is more likely to give you a yeast infection or UTI than others. Chances are, if you’ve had trouble in the past with yeast infections, glycerin is to blame. You should look for a lube that’s glycerin-free, like Lovehoney Enjoy Water Based Lubricant or any lubricant made by Sliquid (their Sassy formula is my favorite, because it’s a gel). For UTIs, avoid thick, emollient lubricants, because they’ll be harder to clear from the urethral tract. Stick to a thin, water-based formula like Sliquid H2O or Lovehoney Enjoy.
Myth #3: All oil-based lubricants are bad.
Oil-based lubricants are not intended to be used with latex condoms, and most are not ideal for vaginal sex. For this reason, I wouldn’t recommend an oil-based lube for your casual sex drawer. Anal sex with a fluid-bonded partner (a partner you’ve exchanged fluids with, who is clear of STIs – one with whom you do not use condoms) is really where oil-based lubricants are helpful. Because the anus doesn’t produce any lubrication on its own, additional lubricant is key. Oil-based lubes are ideal because they’re thick and able to cushion the delicate tissue lining the rectum. Also, they don’t absorb into the body as quickly as water-based lubricants. Boy Butter, Yes Oil-Based Organic Lubricant, and Stroke 29 are all good oil-based lubricant choices. Or, if you want to keep things simple, coconut oil, which is also vagina-safe but not condom-safe.
If you’re not sure what kind of lubricant is best for you, there’s an amazing service from Lucky Bloke where you can get an assortment of condoms, lubricants, or both. Then, you’re not stuck with a full bottle of something that didn’t suit you. But when in doubt, I recommend a simple, glycerin-free, water-based lube.
Go forth, and may your sex be smoother and hotter than ever.
The Ultimate Guide to Sexy Pubic Hair
One conversation that’s always going on in the background of the collective consciousness centers on pubic hair. By all accounts, we are fascinated by hair down there, whether we shave it, wax it, trim it, shape it, or let it grow free in all its glory. Almost everyone has an opinion. But, what does pubic hair have to do with health? Is the fear mongering on either side of the bare naked line justified?
If you choose to remove your pubic hair, you might go the route of shaving, since many people find it the most convenient and least expensive. It requires some upkeep and a steady hand, but the health concerns are minimal. You might knick your skin or cause razor burn, but as long as you keep your razor sharp and clean, it really shouldn’t be a problem. If you want to ensure that your skin stays happy, exfoliate first using a wet washcloth in the shower, apply a gentle shaving lotion, and after hair removal, pat on some coconut oil.
Others go for something more intense: waxing. Whether you’re getting a full Brazilian, just cleaning up around the edges, or something in between, you need to make sure that you go to a reputable waxer. The station should be clean, including the instruments used to handle wax. You don’t want to risk coming into contact with anything that the last customer might have been carrying. A good waxer should also be able to explain maintenance, and how to care for post-wax skin. Because waxing can be very irritating and can cause small abrasions (making you more vulnerable to potential infection), it’s important to be safe. For this reason, it’s also not advisable to go for a wax and have a casual sexual encounter later on in the same day, as things like HPV can spread via skin that’s not covered by a condom.
Letting it grow
The full bush is used to getting a bad rap from some circles, but it has its distinct advantages. For the lazy among us, it’s the easiest pubic style you’ll ever come across! The hair actually traps pheromones, which might smell less than pleasant to you, but to a lover (or a sex buddy), it can be intoxicating. Hair also reduces friction and can make some positions slightly more comfortable. And, according to the New York Times, the bush may be coming back into vogue.
As you might have guess, at the end of the day, personal hygiene and safety is much more important than the pubic hair style you choose.
Photo credit: New York Magazine
5 Things You Should Do If You Can’t Have An Orgasm
Sometimes, no matter how hot a guy is or how amazing the sex is, we just can’t seem to get to the finish line. Here are five things you should do if you can’t have an orgasm.
1. Take matters into your own hands
Literally. You know what turns you on the most and chances are, your partner will appreciate the help. Actually, he’ll probably be insanely turned on by it and will pay close attention to see what he can do better next time.
2. Don’t stress
Sure, when most people think of phenomenal sex a bed shaking orgasm isn’t far behind, but the fun is in the journey, not the destination. Speaking for women, it is completely possible for a woman to enjoy herself in bed even if she doesn’t have the big “o.” Sex is fun, an orgasm is just the frosting on the cake.
3. Be spontaneous
When you get all excited and amped up for something, and put tons of pressure on yourself, sometimes you completely psych yourself out. It’s almost like stage fright-when it’s your turn under the bright lights, you freeze up. Instead of approaching an orgasm like a task you need check off your to-do list, allow it to be something that just happens. Be in the moment, not concerned with what might happen later. Kiss, make-out, have fun…freeing your mind from pressure and stress is the key to amazing sex, orgasms or not.
4. Switch up your routine
Do you have sex in bed with the lights out and only like to be in missionary position? It’s time to try something different. You don’t have to go crazy and do things that are entirely outside of your comfort zone. It could be something as simple as changing your sex position or picking a new room in your house to get busy in.
5. Talk to your partner
For most of us, especially if we are in a casual dating relationship, talking about the serious stuff is something we try to avoid. However, if you are able to be naked and sweaty in front of someone, you should be able to talk to them about just about anything. Plus, your partner probably wants you to think he’s the best you’ve ever had. Telling him he’s not only makes one thing happen…he works a little harder. No complaints there!