Meeting Gay Men & Having Fun

Sometimes being a guy who’s into gay sex hookups with other guys can be a little bit frustrating. We’re not talking about the potential prejudices and disapproval which can just be a little plain weird sometimes. We mean it can be difficult fitting in if you don’t want to live your life in a certain way. Many gay and bisexual men seem to want to keep their gay sex life discreet. While proudly proclaiming how straight acting they are, but as the cliché goes. It can be difficult to say “straight acting” with a penis in your mouth. And then there are the gay men who are loud and proud, for whom a night out means going to a gay club with their gay friends, whose music collection contains everything Madonna, Lady Gaga, Britney Spears and Kylie Minogue has ever done.

What about the guys who are somewhere in the middle? For those of you who don’t hide your sexuality but don’t let if influence every part of your life either. Where is the middle ground to meet guys? Does it make it more difficult, or in fact easier, to get laid?

Gay Hook Up Sites

The internet has made it a hell of a lot easier to meet people, but it can be a chore to sort through the masses of profoundly depressing profiles you find on many dating websites. It’s like the internet became far more interactive, since you can practically smell the desperation. Online dating offers you the chance to learn a little more about your potential date, as much as it’s possible to learn from the exchange of text anyway. And of course, the majority of photos on dating sites have been chosen to present their subject in the best possible light. However, always look out for photos that have a date stamp on them – your new online friend might be using photos from 2004, and well, baldness and morbid obesity might have set in since then.

If you don’t dip your toes into the gay waters so often, it’s best not to advertise this fact since you might be inundated with messages from guys who want to teach you the ways of same gay sex. Again, if you’re not someone who bothers with hook ups so often. It’s best to take steps to lessen the possibility of disappointment when it comes time to actually meet face to face. You might want to insist on Skype, which allows you to see if the person looks as their photos suggest, and also to see if the conversation flows when it’s not being typed out. Sure, if you’re looking for a purely physical encounter, then conversation might not be such a big deal, but it helps!

Gay Clubs and Bars

Like most modern men with a mixed group of friends, you can probably find a gang of people to accompany you to a gay bar or club. Even though you might be planning to go home with someone else. Try not to be too cynical about the whole thing. Just because the club is full of shirtless guys dry humping each other on the dance floor, it doesn’t mean that everyone in the place is into the vibe. Many guys there might be thinking the same way as you – it’s a novelty diversion from what you usually consider a fun Saturday night.

Some of us might find it easier to go to these things as a solo hunter, and it’s often easier to start conversation if you’re alone. If you’re not into the gay scene, it can be easy to just talk to your friends rather than initiate something with a stranger. Yeah, it can be a bit weird to be out alone in a bar or club in your home town. There are always ways to explain this, rather than “I just came here to get laid.”. If anyone asks, you can say you swung by on your way home from another party because it was on your way home. Any guys you talk to might not believe you, but who really cares? If they enquire about why you’re there, it’s a safe bet that it won’t be long until the conversation turns to “My place or yours?”


Gay Sex Fetishes

gay hookups

If you’ve spent more than a few minutes looking at the various gay dating sites on offer. You might be familiar with the profile photos that seem to feature guys posing with their feet, dirty socks or sports shoes featured rather prominently. A novice to the gay world might think that this is a standard way to attract a partner since these types of photos are so damn common. Apparently the part of the human brain that controls arousal is located next to the part that’s connected to the feet,
. Explaining why a foot/sock/shoe fetish is fairly common (and I saw that on an episode of Law and Order: SVU, which means it must be true).

Fetishes can certainly make gay sex with a new partner an eye opening event (or an event that opens other parts of your body), but it can also raise some barriers. What if you meet a hot guy and want to play and yet he comes with some non-negotiable fetishes? How much fetish is too much?

Shoes/Socks/Feet

There is a sense of raw masculinity with sweat, meaning it’s pretty standard to feel horny when you go to the gym. And since our feet are perhaps the sweatiest part of us. It’s almost logical to feel an attraction to this part of the body. In a passionate energetic sexual encounter, the feet can easily come into play (unless you’re doing it standing up, in which case they’re in use) and toe sucking isn’t exactly a big deal. If you encounter a guy who wants you to suck the sweat out of his socks or lick his shoes, it’s another matter. Just think of all the stuff those shoes would have walked through… especially in a city. Maybe you get turned on by the thought of having microscopic amounts of dog shit in your mouth, but many wouldn’t. Sometimes it’s perhaps best to not think about it too much.

Golden Shower

It’s funny to see golden showers in gay porn. Porn actors are not actors in the same sense as Meryl Streep, and I’m sure she could convincingly look ecstatically aroused as someone pissed all over her face, but most porn actors can’t hide their discomfort. If it’s something you want to try, then there are some logical precautions to take. Don’t piss on someone if you’re been eating asparagus, and for heavens’ sake, don’t do it in bed – it’s very much a bath or shower activity. Most of us haven’t pissed in the bed since we were toilet trained and it can be a bit of a boner killer to have to sleep in piss wet sheets. If your partner really wants it and you’re somewhat reluctant, it’s easy enough to avoid – just say you don’t need to go.

Rubber/Leather

Some guys seem to get totally turned on by the feeling of leather and rubber next to their skin, so much so that they like to wear these things during gay sex. There are some sensible aspects to sex while wearing rubber, since it easily wipes clean. But isn’t sex more fun when you’re both totally naked? Perhaps the only rubber that should be worn is a condom. Leather has some drawbacks, and if you opt for a leather outfit during gay sex, make sure that it’s exactly your size, since you don’t want to chafe if you get a bit acrobatic…

Group Gay Sex

Group gay sex is a fetish? I thought it was something everybody did…


Casual Gay Sex

Casual Gay Sex

If you’re a guy who reads this blog, you’re probably a fan of playing with a plentitude of pretty penises that propel pearly perfection onto your perky posterior. And that’s totally cool. The whole serious monogamous relationship thing isn’t for everyone. It can be fun to be free and keep your sex life casual with the minimum of worries. Being with someone day in, day out, knowing what they’re going to say before they say it, putting up with all their bad habits and knowing that each evening you’re going to have to listen to them bitching about their boring day in their mundane job – it’s enough to make anyone shove their face into Roseanne’s pre-liposuction folds of blubber and suffocate themselves.

Maybe you’re not in the right place for an in depth relationship, but you’re also starting to grow weary of a different guy each time – the small talk that’s generally required before you and the guy roleplay as doctors who need to give each other hot meat injections. There can also be that strange feeling that’s a mixture of euphoria and confusion, as the heady, giddy sensation of your orgasm fades away and you realize you’re not entirely sure that you remember his name. Maybe you don’t want a boyfriend, but maybe you want something more than sex that is basically anonymous. You don’t necessarily have to be exclusive, but it’s possible to come to some sort of arrangement…

Friends with Benefits

This is the simplest way to have a pleasurable stroll along a fine piece of middle ground. You know each other, respect each other, and maybe (hopefully) have long interesting chats, as well as spending a lot of time in bed with each other. You’re together but not Together. Sometimes you might be at a bar or a party and spot some hot guy with come hither eyes and a cum in me mouth, and stuff might happen. This is fine – you and your friend with benefits are not exclusive.

Remember that it can be rare to have a long term friend with benefits. Such is human nature that feelings often start to develop, and one day you might realize that you’re not happy with the idea of “stuff happening” with other guys. Think of it like this: You know your friend with benefits is going out for the evening and it’s likely that he’s going to conclude the evening sucking some guy until his balls are empty. Do you feel jealous? If so, you know that you need to either try for just a straightforward non-sexual friendship, or to maybe try an actual romantic relationship with this guy.

Playing Together

It’s a variation on the friends with benefits angle and is actually quite common in the gay community… perhaps even with straight couples who don’t like to advertise so much. You have your sex buddy, who is not your boyfriend, but you don’t like the idea of “stuff happening” with him and other guys, and he isn’t overjoyed at the idea of you doing things with other guys either. So you have an arrangement where you’re special to each other and don’t go seeking solo sex with strangers, but when you want to spice things up, you invite a third (or a fourth, or a fifth) over for some playtime.

It can be a strange feeling, knowing that you’d get jealous if this was happening without you, but a strangely hot feeling to be able to watch and join in. It’s not entirely casual sex, and it’s far from being a traditional monogamous relationship, but there is plenty of middle ground for you and your guy to explore and enjoy.  You can care about someone and acknowledge that they’re important to you, but this doesn’t have to be a traditional exclusive boyfriend type of situation. And nobody will judge you if you really don’t give a shit about what happened to them at work today

(Photo via weheartit.com)


Gay Sex Buddy

gay sex

Sometimes when you’re out and about, whether it’s buying groceries or looking for a new shirt that makes man boobs look like pecs. You might see someone and it takes a fraction of a second for you to recognize them. In that instant, a few choices go through your mind. “Did I go to school with that guy? Is he from TV? Oh wait… I fucked him.” You would probably have recognized him instantly if you’d seen the back of his head. He looks back at you and you can see the recognition in his eyes as he remembers that sweaty night. He pretends not to know you and goes about his business.

All guys know that playing with their cocks is tremendous fun. It’s a cheap entertaining way to start your day, or end it, or when there’s nothing on TV. Gay guys know that it’s even more fun with more than one cock. But not all guys want to be so open about it. Maybe they like to keep their gay sex life separate from their real life, or maybe they have a wife or girlfriend. Yawn. Sure, sometimes they ignore you and pretend that you’re a total stranger, rather than someone who knows what the sweat between their ass cheeks tastes like. Sometimes they greet you like you’re the love of their life, even though you can’t quite remember their name. So what’s the best way to react when you meet your bedroom buddy out in the real world?

If The Sex Was OK, But You Couldn’t Care Less

This is the easiest way to run into a former fuck. Treat it like you would running into anyone you kind of know. Say hi, how’s it going, what’s going on. Even though you did things with them that would make Blanche from The Golden Girls blush (totally gay reference, we know, and we mean that in the best possible way), you’re under no obligation to have an extended interaction with them. Smile, say it was good to see them and be on your merry way.

If The Sex Was Good and You Want More

Again, just be polite but also add a sense of playfulness to it. It helps if you run into them while shopping. You could inform them that you need to buy a new bed, because you want him to come over and fuck so hard that you break the old one. Depending on how casual your hook up was, you might not remember his name, and you might not have bothered to get a phone number. Just hand him your phone and ask him to put his name and number into it.

If The Sex Was Bad and You’re Not Happy to See Him

There are plenty of options, none of them are particularly dignified, but who cares. This is a guy you slept with once, and if all goes well, you’ll never see him again. You could pretend not to see him, or say hi and just keep walking, like you’ve got somewhere else to be (which is anywhere).

If it’s in a situation where escape isn’t so easy and they try to forcefully extract a conversation from you. You’re better off saying something like, “It was great spending time with you, but my boyfriend and I were going through a difficult time, and now we want to give things another go.”

The Sex Was Good and You See Him With His Partner

He’s with his boyfriend and he acknowledges you, then it’s probably an open relationship. One word (with three penises): threeway. If he’s with his wife or girlfriend, then it’s best to smile to yourself and walk away, being happy that you live your life without dishonesty. Let’s forget that you take five years off your age on your internet dating profile…


Gay Sex Australia – Bonus Content!

gay for pay

With so many stereotypes about Australian men, and many gay men who visit Australia probably sorely wish for some of these stereotypes to be accurate. There’s the idea that Australian men are rugged outdoor Crocodile Dundee types, pummelling dangerous wildlife into submission (hey – want to wrestle my snake?). There’s also the widely believed notion that Australia is populated by a bunch of people whose IQ hovers at around fridge temperature and whose parents might be blood relatives.

The Simpsons probably illustrated this stereotype the best when they depicted Australia as a land where the Prime Minister lounges naked on an inflated tyre with a beer in his hand. God, we really hope that the current PM doesn’t do that… his ass would look like two old leather cushions rubbing together. The short lived animated delight The Cleveland Show described Australians as “drunk beach trash who are always on vacation.”

But what about some of the more positive stereotypes about Australian men – the stuff of fantasy? Where is the tall bronzed surfer who emerges from the ocean with droplets of salt water cascading down his toned body? Oh… there he is, on the beach. In fact, there are rather a lot of these types on the beach. Oh… he’s flirting with those girls. So there probably aren’t any of these beach Gods that like to play with cocks other than his own? Well, yes and no… If you know where to look, you might see guys like this doing all manner of nasty things.

Time to Open Up

Australian attitudes towards homosexuality and same sex pairings are changing, and the ABC reported that 52% of respondents to a survey on marriage equality said that marriage does not have to be between a man and a woman to be valid. Hardly going to change the world, but hey, it’s a start. Maybe this reflects the fact that a number of Aussie boys are become more open minded (and presumably open assed too) with their sexuality.

What Can I Sell?

Isn’t eBay awesome? All that useless crap you have lying around the house – you can just sell it and make some extra cash. In times of financial need, many young men have looked around their home while thinking, “Damn, what can I sell? I really need the cash, but I need something to sell…” Their eyes move around the room before finally settling on the bulge between their legs. Yeah… maybe that will do.

I Did It for The Money

Australia has a relatively small population (just over 22 million), and yet there are rather a lot of gay for pay sites operating out of the country. Featuring “straight” Australian guys either playing with themselves, or playing with their “straight” friends, doing things that definitely aren’t straight. We’re not saying that money wasn’t a motivating factor, but there has to be an element of same sex desire to deepthroat some guys cock while an older guy films it.

Keeping it Quiet

While the emergence of Australian gay porn is hardly conclusive evidence that young Australian men are more comfortable with embracing their bisexuality that they used to be, but surely it’s less of a big deal that it used to be. It’s the freaking internet! If they do that sort of thing online, people they know can find out about it easily. Boys, it’s not exactly a secret… unless they’re all as dumb as The Simpsons seem to think.

Welcome to Paradise

One of the more prominent sites is based on the Gold Coast, where the central beachside district is wonderfully named Surfers Paradise, and this site features many of the bronzed beach Gods that feature in a number of gay sex fantasies. Just because these guys do it on camera for money, it doesn’t mean that they’re looking for a guy for a romance, or even for a night. Sometimes it really is just for the money, and they don’t much care what they do for money. But hey, maybe if you really want that Australian surfer fantasy, you can… it will just cost you a hundred bucks per hour. And no kissing on the mouth.

Australian Gay Men

Visitors to Australia might have a vision of tall blond surfer guys who lock eyes with you as they emerge from the surf, the saltwater dripping down their bronzed toned bodies… Um… forgot where I was going with this. There are a lot of hotties in Australia, but it’s rather hit and miss, much like the UK and the USA. Don’t forget that Australia has one of the highest obesity rates in the world, which is fine if you’re into that sort of thing.


Gay Porn Sex Vs. Real Gay Sex

Remember in the old days, which were not actually so long ago, when anyone who wanted to see two guys (or often more) giving each other a hot beef injection needed to actually go out and get a video or DVD?

The internet has killed many things, and amongst the list of fatalities is porn that you need to leave your house for. Anything you want to see is a mere click away, as well as many freaky things you probably wish you hadn’t seen, and there’s a whole generation of gay men who have gotten all of their gay sex tips from watching porn.

Certainly, good gay porn can teach you a few tricks, namely the multitude of positions on offer, and yet there are a huge number of things that might look alluring when done in porn but can be amusing and often downright creepy when it happens in real life…

Gay Sex Talk

A bit of dirty talk never goes amiss, but it’s not something that appeals to everyone. With a regular partner, chances are that they’ll learn what you like to hear and will act accordingly, but with a new partner or a drunk one nighter, you might come across (or cum on, hahaha) a guy who seems to think he’s required to speak the words of a cheesy porn actor.

In the heat of the moment, it can be somewhat unsettling to hear a guy say, “Oh yeah! Fuck me harder! Your cock feels so good!”. Sure, thanks for the compliment, but there’s something weird about hearing these things in real life – like it’s insincere and the guy is merely saying what he thinks he should say. The problem is easily fixed – just flip him over and complete your mission using doggy style. Then at least his words will be muffled by the pillow and it will simply sound like grunts of appreciation.

Cum One, Cum All

Some guys seem to be equipped with a yogurt dispensing fire hose, and good sex takes advantage of this. But where to “finish”? In many instances, the creamy deposit is given inside the condom, which is inside one of you, but an extra flourish is sometimes fun – to pull out and spray somewhere on your partner. It’s good manners to ask where the other guy likes it, and while it can look hot, not everyone likes to have cum on their face. It can actually be painful if it goes in your eyes – that stuff stings!

Yes, some guys like it in their mouth, but this is something that should be discussed with your partner since there are health considerations.

Try to avoid cumming on the bed sheets, especially if it’s not your bed, as this is a major no no in sex etiquette. If in doubt, shoot on their chest, since it wipes clean… unless you’re in bed with a bear.

The Condom Question

Condoms don’t make an appearance in quite a lot of porn, and this is somewhat of a concern if it leads many young gay men to think that condoms aren’t essential in casual gay sex. Porn is purely fantasy, but a lot of guys want to carry that fantasy across to their real sex lives. So when you see cocky American jocks and terrified Eastern European 18 year olds fucking without condoms, don’t assume that it’s the best choice for you.

A number of porn studios are actually starting to digitally erase condoms in their scenes, so special effects aren’t just for Harry Potter anymore. It’s not worth the risk, and those tubular pieces of latex are something that might not necessarily be in porn, but should definitely be in your bedroom.

Younger Guys Can Hooking Up with Older Gay Guys

gay men
(Fashion Designer Calvin Klein with former boy toy Nick Gruber)

After a turbulent history that included being the capital city of Nazi Germany, as well as the best part of three decades as a city sliced in two courtesy of the Berlin Wall, modern Berlin has evolved into a rather easygoing place. Nowhere is this more evident than in the district of Schöneberg, particularly on the corner of Eisenacher and Fugger Streets. Here you’ll find a few delightfully seedy bars with names such as Blue Boy and Pinocchio, names that conjure up images of the freshness of youth and um… boy puppets. By all means, venture in for a beer but be warned that these bars attract men looking for a certain something.

This writer naively wandered in one evening and was immediately struck by the clientele – a mixture of well groomed young men and older men whose youth and being able to get to their cock without lifting their belly was long behind them. Without managing to take a sip of my beer before one of the older men approached me and muttered something in German. Smiling confusedly and replied, “Sorry – I don’t speak German.” He nodded to himself and said, “Oh… you’re a tourist, I thought you were working. I was asking how much you charge for a fuck.” – What! I would like to report that I cooly stared at him and said, “More than you can afford,” but no… I giggled and got the hell out of there.

Gay Hookups

Sometimes when a younger man gets with an older man money changes hands, and that’s fine, although of course there are a number of men in their late teens and 20’s who enjoy the company of men in their 40’s and beyond. Maybe it’s something you’ve been thinking about, so what can a younger man realistically expect to happen if he hooks up with, or even begins dating an older guy?

There’s a Difference in History

Remember that this guy was a fully formed adult by the time you popped out of your mother, and while you might have an ex boyfriend or two, your older friend is likely to have several (not to mention all the one night stands). Hey – depending on his previous preferences he might even have an ex wife and children, who are likely to be closer to your age than he is. Does this freak you out? If not, then keep reading.

He’s Lived More Than You Have

Your cultural references will probably be a bit mismatched, so sometimes you might not know what the hell he’s talking about and vice versa. If he begins every second sentence with “When I was your age…” it can become very old, very quickly (just like him!). It’s also important to remember that the idea of fun changes as a person gets older, and so for him an action packed Saturday night can involve binge watching Mad Men instead of going to an electro bar, taking some happy pills and getting your dick played with in a toilet cubicle. But that’s what open relationships are for!

He Has More Money Than You

We’re not suggesting that you actually charge him for the pleasure of your company and body, but older men are generally more financially stable than their younger counterparts. Who often add up the number of hours worked in a week and convert it to how many drinks they can afford on Saturday. If you want to hang out with an older guy, he might well be grateful to the point that you won’t have to reach for your wallet all night.

He Might Have a Fetish

Wanting to have gay sex with someone younger than you is hardly a shocking thing (so long as it’s all legal), but some older guys take it to a whole new level. There’s a huge amount of online porn dedicated to Daddy/Boy videos where the younger man actually calls the older man daddy. This could be kind of weird if it happens in real life, since you probably don’t want to be reminded of your father while you’re on the brink of an orgasm. If he shouts “Come to Daddy” (or indeed, “Cum on Daddy”) during sex, it should probably be a deal-breaker.

Sweet!

Not all older men are created equal, and some of them have rocking bods and a cool attitude that makes you forget the decades between you. Of course, some of them are creepy and desperate and can be found in Blue Boy bars across the globe. It’s up to you if you want to sample an older delight, but it can be an interesting experience. A piece of fruit might be past its prime period of ripeness, which gives it a different texture…  but it also means it can be extra sweet.

(Image via New York Daily News)


Bi Sexual Men

Bi Sexual Men

Wouldn’t it be nice to live in a world where nobody gives a crap about sexuality? Oh, you like ladies, you like boys, you like lady boys– that’s nice… whatever makes you happy. A world where in some Hollywood blockbusters, the action hero kisses his boyfriend at the end and nobody cares because it’s really not that important? But of course, we don’t live in such a world (not yet, anyway). So many men who are confused about their sexuality feel the need to do their experimentation on the down low. Some guys are open about their curiosity when it comes to playing with a dick other than their own and will often openly say, “Yeah – I guess I’m kind of bisexual.”. Some other guys who might be bi or gay are unwilling to be so open about their desires, and view their dick play as something shameful; something that requires discretion at all cost.

Why the Closet?

Guys simply aren’t that comfortable with their sexuality, and can’t handle the fact that when jerking off, their minds wander to some hot man on man action with greased pectorals and toned butts thrusting into… um… where was I?

These guys might be unwilling to accept their same sex desires for a number of reasons. They might have grown up in a family where homosexuality was seen as something dirty or evil. Or, they might be from a culture or religion that has moral objections to same sex relations.

The Party Guy

Closeted bi guys are unlikely to be dancing shirtless on the podium at your local gay club, discussing recent Madonna versus classic Madonna. Although you might meet them at a house or apartment party. You might know the type – the guy who mentions his girlfriend and yet becomes weirdly interested in you when you mention that you like guys. He drinks and gets closer to you and suggests you share a cab even though he lives on the other side of town, and then… well, you know.

The Internet Guy

The numerous gay dating websites are a popular hunting ground for the closeted bi curious guy, and they might even openly advertise that fact. Presumably in order to get attention from the other guys who really want to teach them. Some of these bi guys might be teases, simply there for the attention with no plan to ever meet. It’s possible to build an online rapport, and so you might make a connection with a bi guy to the point that he’ll want to meet. But no doubt he will demand discretion, and it might be a while before he even shows you a face photo.

The Question of Alcohol

While a closeted guy you meet at a party might need to be drunk and/or high before he gets into your bed, don’t take it personally. It’s not a reflection on your personal attractiveness, but simply because he needs to be slightly wasted before he gives into his desires. When you finally get him in the sack, it can go either way. He might be so overwhelmed with desire that it’s the most passionate sex you’ve ever had, even if he’s a little bit amateur. On the other hand, he might be so overwhelmed that he just lies there, and you need to do all the work while he giggles nervously – which kind of kills the mood.

While a closeted bi guy might not be to everyone’s taste, it can be a fun way to spend an evening, although it’s unlikely to extend beyond a series of casual dates. Remember that he might be going home to his wife or girlfriend, and might not even acknowledge you in public, and you need to accept this or move on. If you go down the closeted bi curious road, there are some magic words you need to tell the guy when you’ve finished for the evening: “No, of course this doesn’t make you gay.”

(photo via weheartit.com)