Submissive dating: subs and doms, matched honestly
By Lottie Williams, Head of Content
Updated
Dominance and submission work when both people chose them. Submissive dating is about finding someone whose wants fit yours, with the trust to make it good.
Subs and doms, both welcome
Whether you are a sub looking for a dom, a dom looking for a sub, or a switch who enjoys both, the first step is the same: say so. Set your role on your profile and you will be easy to find for the people who are looking for exactly you.
Submission is a choice, made freely and taken back freely. A good dom knows that better than anyone.
Starting well
Talk before you play. What do you each enjoy, what is off limits, what is your safe word, and what happens afterwards? None of that kills the mood; it is what makes it possible to relax into it.
Start lighter than you think you need to. Trust grows with every meeting, and so can everything else.
Red flags
Most people are lovely. A few are not, and they tend to show it early.
- Anyone who will not discuss limits or safe words, or calls them unnecessary.
- Anyone who wants to skip a public first meeting.
- Anyone who asks for money, gifts or a "tribute" before meeting. That is a scam, not a dynamic.
- Anyone who pushes you off the site straight away.
How it works on No Strings Dating
Your profile has a section called "What are you into?", with BDSM, light bondage, role play, toys, exhibitionist, voyeur and "fetish (ask me)" among the options, plus your role (dominant, submissive or switch) and how experienced you are. Pick what fits, and leave out anything you would rather say in person.
Those answers show on your profile and on the cards people browse, so members who share them find you, and members who do not can pass without anyone feeling awkward. Add a line in your own words for anything the options do not cover.
For more detail there is an optional Kink and fantasy section: your role in play, the dynamic you are after, the BDSM and fetishes you enjoy, clubs and events, and safety and aftercare. It only shows on your full profile, never on cards, so you can be specific without leading with it.
Safe, sane and agreed
Kink works on trust, and trust is built before anything happens. Talk about limits, hard noes and safe words before you meet, not during. Meet somewhere public first, use Safety check-in to tell a friend where you will be, and never agree to anything you cannot take back.
Consent can be withdrawn at any moment, by anyone, whatever was agreed. Every member has passed an age check, and you can close any chat with one tap.
Dating, not a marketplace
No Strings Dating is for adults meeting other adults because they both want to. It is not a place to sell or buy sessions, and advertising sexual services breaks our rules. Anyone offering paid domination, or asking you to pay for time, gets reported and removed.
Quick answers
How do I find a dom?
Set your role to submissive, browse members whose role is dominant, and message the ones whose profiles fit. Read their profile first.
How do I find a sub?
Set your role to dominant and browse members whose role is submissive. Lead with respect: the best doms are the most careful ones.
What is a switch?
Someone who enjoys both roles, depending on the person or the mood. There is a switch option on every profile.
Someone asked me for a "tribute" before we meet. Is that normal?
Not here. Asking for money is the clearest sign of a scam. Do not pay, and report them.
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