Gay dating: hook-ups and casual fun for men
By Lottie Williams, Head of Content
Updated
Men who want men have never been short of apps. What is often missing is honesty about what everyone actually wants. Here, the tags do that before anyone says hello.
Hook-ups, regulars or something slower
Set yourself as a man into men, or into everyone if you are bi, and pick your intention tags. One-off hook-up, Regular / FWB and Casual dating are all there, along with Flirty chat and sexting for the nights you would rather stay in. You can also say what you are not up for, which is just as useful.
"When are you free?" and "Can you host?" sit on the cards people browse, so a man who can host on weekday evenings is easy to spot for another man who can travel then. Switch on Free tonight when you are, and it turns itself off when the time has passed.
Tribes, positions and plain words
Tick whichever tribes fit, or none at all. Body hair runs from Smooth to Hairy, and Position from Top to Bottom, with Versatile and Side in between. Still, a line in your own words about what a good night looks like does more than any tick box.
Discreet, or not out yet
Plenty of men here are not out to everyone, and that is their business. Set Discretion to "Discretion appreciated" or "Discretion essential", keep your public photo recognisable but not obvious, and keep more personal photos private until you trust someone. Our discreet dating guide covers the rest.
Respect it in others. Never screenshot a profile, mention who you have met, or go looking for someone's surname. Someone else's privacy is never yours to spend.
Sexual health, briefly
Condoms, regular testing and PrEP all have their place. In the UK, PrEP is free from NHS sexual health clinics, and testing is free and confidential. Our sexual health guide explains PrEP and PEP in plain English, and the Safer sex answer on your profile lets you say where you stand.
How it works on No Strings Dating
When you join, you say "I'm a" man or woman, and whether you are into women, men or everyone. That decides who you see when you browse, so it is the one answer worth getting right first. You can change it later under "Who you're looking for".
After that, the detail is yours to add. "Also identify as" offers Bi-curious, Pansexual, Heteroflexible, Queer and Non-binary. "Your tribe" includes Bear, Cub, Otter, Wolf, Twink, Jock, Daddy, Pup, Leather, Muscle, Geek, Femme, Butch, Trans and Discreet / straight-acting. Position and Safer sex are there too, and they only ever show on your full profile, never on the cards people browse.
Every answer is optional. When you and someone else share one, it shows up as something you have in common, which makes the first message easy.
Safety: outing threats and sextortion
The risks LGBTQ+ people face online are not always the ones on the usual checklist. Two matter most: someone threatening to out you, and someone threatening to share intimate photos unless you pay. Both are blackmail, both break our rules, and neither is your fault.
If it happens: stop replying, do not pay, keep screenshots, then report and block. Paying rarely ends it; blackmailers usually come back for more. Keep chats on the site until you trust someone, share private photos only with people you have met, and use Safety check-in when you meet.
- United Kingdom: Galop, the LGBT+ anti-abuse charity, gives free, confidential support, including with blackmail, on 0800 999 5428. Adults facing sextortion can also get advice from the Revenge Porn Helpline. Call 999 in an emergency, or 101 to report to the police.
- Everywhere else: report to your local police, and look for a local LGBTQ+ support service. Our Safety Centre lists free help in every country we serve.
Describe yourself, not who you exclude
Say what you are into, as plainly as you like. What we ask is that you describe yourself and what you want, rather than listing the kinds of people you do not want. "Into bears and beards" invites the right people in; a list of groups you are against just puts everyone off. Harassment and hate break our rules, and a person reads every report.
No Strings Dating is for adults meeting because they both want to. Advertising sexual services, or asking anyone to pay for time, breaks our rules too.
Quick answers
How do I find gay hook-ups near me?
Join as a man into men, pick One-off hook-up, and browse by distance. Free tonight shows who is available when you are.
Can bi men use No Strings Dating?
Yes. Choose "everyone" when you join, and tick Bi-curious or say you are bi in your own words.
Can I keep it discreet?
Yes. Set your Discretion answer, keep personal photos private, and block anyone you know. Payments show under a neutral company name.
Is PrEP free?
In the UK, PrEP is free from NHS sexual health clinics. Elsewhere, ask a sexual health clinic or your doctor.
No strings dating near you
Popular cities