Sexual health and casual dating: testing, condoms and PrEP

Condoms: still the all-rounder

Condoms protect against most sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and pregnancy at the same time, cost little, and are often free from sexual health clinics. Nothing else does both jobs.

They are not a force field. Infections passed by skin contact, like herpes and genital warts, can still spread, and oral sex can pass on infections including gonorrhoea, syphilis and herpes. That is not a reason to skip them; it is a reason to test as well.

• Carry your own. Do not rely on the other person having one.
• Use a new one for each act, and with any toys you share.
• Use water or silicone-based lube with latex condoms. Oil damages them.
• Check the date and the packet. Out-of-date or damaged condoms split more easily.

How often to test

There is no single rule, but the general advice is simple. Test once a year if you are sexually active, after any new partner, and every three months or so if you meet new people often. Test straight away if you have symptoms, if a condom fails, or if a partner tells you they have an STI.

Many STIs have no symptoms at all, especially chlamydia, which is why "I feel fine" is not the same as "I am fine". In the US, the CDC recommends everyone aged 13 to 64 tests for HIV at least once, and more often if you are at higher risk.

Free testing where you live

Testing is confidential everywhere we operate, and in most places it is free. These are the main routes in.

• UK: NHS sexual health clinics test and treat for free, and you do not need a GP referral. Many areas post free home testing kits. NHS sexual health services explains what is available and how to find a clinic.
• Ireland: the HSE posts free home STI test kits to anyone aged 17 or over, anywhere in the country, ordered from sti.ie. Public STI clinics are free too.
• United States: the CDC testing finder lists free and low-cost testing near you, including local health departments.
• Canada: many public sexual health clinics test for free with a provincial health card, and some provinces offer online testing. Call 811 in most provinces for advice.
• Australia: public sexual health clinics test for free, and many will see you without a Medicare card. healthdirect (1800 022 222) can point you to one.
• New Zealand: public sexual health clinics offer free testing. Healthline (0800 611 116) can help you find one.

PrEP and PEP, in plain English

PrEP (pre-exposure prophylaxis) is medication taken before sex that is highly effective at preventing HIV when taken as prescribed. It does not protect against other STIs. In the UK it is free from NHS sexual health clinics, and it is free through the HSE in Ireland. Elsewhere, ask a sexual health clinic or your doctor.

PEP (post-exposure prophylaxis) is emergency medication after a possible HIV exposure, such as a condom breaking with a partner whose status you do not know. It must start within 72 hours, ideally within 24. In the UK, go to a sexual health clinic, or A&E out of hours. Elsewhere, go to a sexual health clinic or emergency department.

A clinic will tell you whether either is right for you and how to take it. Do not buy it online without advice. Terrence Higgins Trust has plain-English guides to PrEP, PEP and HIV testing in the UK.

Talking about it without killing the mood

The best time to talk about protection is before anyone has taken anything off. Over a drink, or in the chat, it is just logistics. In the moment, it can feel like a negotiation.

Keep it light and matter-of-fact. "I always use condoms, just so you know" or "I tested last month, how about you?" is all it takes. Most people are relieved someone else said it first, and our guide to your first hook-up has more on agreeing the basics. Anyone who sulks, pressures you or tries to remove a condom without asking is showing you exactly who they are. Removing a condom without consent can be a crime in the UK and elsewhere.

If a test comes back positive

It happens, and most STIs are easy to treat. Follow the clinic's advice, finish any treatment, and avoid sex until they say it is fine. What to expect at an STI clinic is explained on the NHS website.

Tell recent partners so they can test too. If that feels impossible, many clinics, including NHS clinics, can let partners know anonymously without giving your name.

Safer sex on your profile

Your No Strings Dating profile has an optional safer sex answer: always safer sex, discuss first, or regularly tested. It shows only on your full profile, never on cards or public pages, and it gives you an easy way in: "I saw you test regularly, me too." More on the site's features is on how it works, and the Safety Centre has help lines for every country.

Staying safe

Casual does not mean careless. A few habits make a big difference, and the site is built around them.

• Look for the red tick. Verified members have passed a photo and ID check.
• Meet somewhere public first, and use Safety check-in to tell a friend where and when.
• Keep the chat on the site until you are sure. Anyone who pushes you off it quickly, or asks for money, is someone to report.
• Close any chat that does not feel right. One tap, no explanations needed.
• Report anything odd. Reports are reviewed by a person, and every photo is checked before it goes live.

What it costs, in UK prices

Joining, building your profile and browsing are free. You pay only when you want to message, and you choose how long for.

Passes never renew. Plans that do renew send you a reminder first, and you can cancel in two taps. Payments show on your statement under a neutral company name.

The prices below are UK prices, in pounds. Wherever you are, our prices page shows them in your own currency.

• 24-hour pass: £1.99, perfect for a free night
• 1 week: £4.99
• 1 month: £9.99, the main plan
• 3 months: £19.99
• Women who verify get full membership free, for as long as they stay active

Quick answers