Casual dating for women: get what you want, skip the rest

Why casual works for so many women

Plenty of us want sex, fun and a bit of company without a relationship taking over our lives. Maybe you have just come out of something long. Maybe work, kids or plain preference means you do not want anyone in your diary every Saturday. None of that needs justifying.

Casual dating gives you the good bits on your own terms: someone you fancy, a night you enjoy, and your life still your own the next morning. The trick is making sure the people you meet want the same.

Work out what you actually want

Before you write a word of your profile, be honest with yourself. A one-off? Someone regular you see every couple of weeks? Flirty chat first, and see? A chance to try something you have been curious about? Each one attracts a different kind of person.

Then think about the practical bits. Can you host, or would you rather go to theirs or a hotel? Are you free weekday evenings, weekends, or at short notice? Is discretion essential? Your profile has a place for all of it, and every answer you give saves you a conversation later.

Filtering out the rest

The quickest way to fewer pointless messages is to be specific. Pick your intention tags, the things you are up for and the things you are not, and they sit at the top of your profile before your photos. Someone who opens with something you have ruled out has told you all you need to know.

Set your meeting style too. "Chat first" or "Video call first" tells people you are not jumping into a car with a stranger on message three, and the right ones will respect that.

• Write a line or two in your own words. Short and specific beats a list of what you hate.
• Browse by shared intentions, so everyone you see wants something close to what you do.
• Look for the red tick. Verified members have passed a photo and ID check.
• Give the quiet ones a chance. A thoughtful opener on a tag you share beats a flood of "hey".

Women go free, properly free

On No Strings Dating, women who verify their ID get full membership free: unlimited messaging, see who liked you, and five Devil Likes a day. No card, no trial that turns into a bill. It stays on for as long as you stay active. The details are on the Women go free page.

Verifying takes about a minute and your documents are never shown to other members. It also gives you the red tick, which tells people you are real and tends to get you better replies.

Unwanted messages and photos

Let us be blunt: some men still send explicit photos nobody asked for. It is not flirting. In England and Wales, sending an unsolicited photo of genitals to cause distress or for sexual gratification is a criminal offence under section 66A of the Sexual Offences Act 2003, and our guide to sexting safely covers what the law says and what to do.

You never owe anyone a reply, a reason or a second chance. Close the chat with one tap, and block them if you want them gone for good. Report anything crude, threatening or pushy from their profile or the chat: a person reads every report, and the member is never told who reported them.

Safety habits that do not kill the fun

Good safety is mostly a few habits you stop noticing. Keep the chat on the site until you are sure, and keep your address and workplace to yourself. Meet somewhere public the first time, with your own way there and back.

Use Safety check-in before you go: tell us who you are meeting, where and when, and send the link to a friend. If you have not checked in by the time you chose, we nudge you, and your friend can see whether you have. Our Safety Centre has the full picture.

If anything does go wrong, you are not on your own. In England and Wales, Rape Crisis runs a free support line on 0808 500 2222, any time. In the US, RAINN answers on 800-656-4673. If you are in danger, call 999 in the UK or 911 in the US.

Pleasure and confidence

Casual sex is supposed to be good for you too, not just a favour you do someone else. The women who enjoy it most tend to be the ones who say what they like, early and without apology. Your profile can list what you are into, from vanilla to toys to role play, so a lot of that conversation is done before you meet.

Confidence is not about how you look in your photos. It is knowing you can leave, say no, change your mind or ask for exactly what you want, and that any decent partner will be glad you did. Bring condoms of your own, and see our guide to sexual health and casual dating for the rest. Brook has clear, friendly advice on contraception and sexual health too.

Staying safe

Casual does not mean careless. A few habits make a big difference, and the site is built around them.

• Look for the red tick. Verified members have passed a photo and ID check.
• Meet somewhere public first, and use Safety check-in to tell a friend where and when.
• Keep the chat on the site until you are sure. Anyone who pushes you off it quickly, or asks for money, is someone to report.
• Close any chat that does not feel right. One tap, no explanations needed.
• Report anything odd. Reports are reviewed by a person, and every photo is checked before it goes live.

What it costs, in UK prices

Joining, building your profile and browsing are free. You pay only when you want to message, and you choose how long for.

Passes never renew. Plans that do renew send you a reminder first, and you can cancel in two taps. Payments show on your statement under a neutral company name.

The prices below are UK prices, in pounds. Wherever you are, our prices page shows them in your own currency.

• 24-hour pass: £1.99, perfect for a free night
• 1 week: £4.99
• 1 month: £9.99, the main plan
• 3 months: £19.99
• Women who verify get full membership free, for as long as they stay active

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