Casual sex dating: honest, safe and on your terms
By Lottie Williams, Head of Content
Updated · First published
Casual sex is easier to find when everyone is honest about wanting it. This guide covers how to say what you want, how to look after yourself and each other, and how to avoid the sites that make it harder than it needs to be.
Start with honesty
The quickest route to a good experience is being clear. Say what you are into, say what you are not, and pay attention to what the other person says back. Most disappointment in casual sex comes from assumptions.
Consent, every time
Consent is a yes that is freely given, specific to what is happening, and can be taken back at any point. Check in, listen, and stop if anything changes. It is not a mood killer; it is what makes it good.
Looking after your health
Use protection, talk about it before it matters, and test regularly if you have new partners. NHS sexual health services offer free, confidential testing in the UK, and many areas let you order a home kit online. In the US, the CDC testing finder lists free and low-cost places near you. Our sexual health guide has the rest.
Meeting for the first time
Even when you both know why you are meeting, a short first meet somewhere public is a good idea. A drink is enough to check the chemistry is real and that you both feel comfortable.
Tell a friend where you will be, or use Safety check-in. Keep your own way home, and do not feel you have to go anywhere you do not want to. Either of you can call it at any point.
Discretion and privacy
Casual is nobody else's business, and the site treats it that way. Profiles never appear on public pages or in search engines, photos can stay private until you choose to share them, and payments show under a neutral company name.
Return the favour: do not share other members' photos or messages, and keep what happens between you between you.
What should you agree before you meet?
More than you might think, and less than a contract. Thirty seconds of plain talk in the chat saves an awkward evening. Most people are glad someone else brought it up first.
- What you are both up for, and anything that is off the table.
- Protection: say you use condoms, and that you expect them.
- Where: a drink somewhere public first, then whose place or a hotel if it goes well.
- That either of you can call it at any point, with no hard feelings.
- Whether this is a one-off or something you might repeat.
How do you handle the morning after?
However the night went, leave on good terms. If you are staying, a coffee and an easy chat is plenty. If you are not, a friendly goodbye beats creeping out. A short message later that day, "thanks, I had a good time", is a small kindness that costs nothing.
If you would like to see them again, say so simply and let them answer. If you would not, you do not owe a long explanation, but do not leave them guessing either. Our guide to one night stands covers the rest of the etiquette.
How it works, staying safe and what it costs
Join free, pass a quick selfie age check, pick your intention tags and browse people nearby who want the same; how No Strings Dating works has the detail. Meet somewhere public first and use Safety check-in, as our Safety Centre explains.
Browsing is free and you pay only to message: a 24-hour pass that never renews, or a plan you can cancel in two taps. See prices in your currency.
Quick answers
How do I bring up what I want without being crude?
Let your intention tags do it. They make it clear what you are open to, so the conversation can start from there.
What if someone does not respect my boundaries?
Close the chat, block them and report them. Reports are reviewed by a person.
Is No Strings Dating only for hook-ups?
It is for any kind of casual connection, from one night to a regular arrangement. What everyone shares is that they say what they want up front.
Can I see what someone is into before I message them?
Yes. Intention tags and boundaries are shown on every profile, so you know what someone is open to before you say hello.
Should we talk about protection before meeting?
Yes. Say you use condoms, and agree it in the chat. It is much easier there than in the moment, and anyone who argues about it has told you what you need to know.
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