Romance scams and sextortion: spot them, stop them

What is a romance scam?

A romance scam is when someone fakes interest in you to get money. They build trust over days or weeks, often with lots of attention and affection, and then a problem appears: a medical bill, a stuck payment, a ticket to come and see you, an "investment" they want to share. The story changes; the ask is always money.

In the US, the Federal Trade Commission has a clear guide to what to know about romance scams, and the advice is the same everywhere: never send money or gifts to someone you have not met in person.

What is sextortion?

Sextortion is blackmail with intimate images. Someone gets a photo or video of you, or claims to, and threatens to send it to your friends, family or employer unless you pay or send more. It often starts with a flirty chat that moves quickly to a video call or photo swap on another app.

The UK's National Crime Agency explains how sextortion works and what to do. It is a crime, it happens to adults of every age, and it is never your fault.

What are the warning signs?

Scams come in many costumes, but the same signs show up again and again.

• They ask for money, gift cards, crypto, a loan or your bank details, whatever the reason.
• They push you to WhatsApp, Telegram or text within the first few messages.
• They are very keen, very fast: love-bombing, big compliments, talk of a future together.
• They cannot meet, or keep cancelling, and will not do a quick video call on their own terms.
• Their photos look like a model shoot, or do not match what they say about themselves.
• They send a link to "verify" you or "prove you are safe" on another site. We never ask for that.
• They ask for intimate photos early, or start a video call that turns sexual straight away.

Why do scammers want you off the site?

Because on the site they can be reported, checked and removed. On a private messaging app, nobody is watching. That is why "let's chat on WhatsApp" in the first few messages is such a reliable warning sign, even when the person seems lovely.

Keep the chat on No Strings Dating until you have met and you are sure. Every member passes a selfie age check, every photo is checked before it goes live, and reports are read by a person.

What should you do if you think it is a scam?

Trust the feeling. You lose nothing by being careful, and you can always apologise later if you were wrong.

• Stop. Do not send money, codes, photos or personal details.
• Report the profile from their profile page or your chat, and block them.
• If you have already paid, call your bank straight away. In the UK you can call 159 to reach most banks' fraud teams safely.
• Keep the evidence: screenshots of the profile, messages, usernames and any payment details.
• Report it to the police service listed below for your country.

What should you do if someone threatens to share your images?

It is frightening, and it feels urgent. That urgency is the scammer's tool. Slow down and follow these steps.

• Do not pay. Paying rarely stops it, and demands usually grow.
• Stop replying, but take screenshots first: the account, the messages, the threats and any payment details.
• Block them everywhere they contacted you, and report them to each site or app.
• Use StopNCII.org, a free tool for adults that helps stop intimate images being shared on partner platforms, without you uploading the image.
• Tell someone you trust. You do not have to deal with this alone.
• Report it to the police. In the UK, call 101, or 999 if you are in danger.

Where can you report it and get help in the UK?

In England, Wales and Northern Ireland, report fraud and online crime to Report Fraud, the national service that replaced Action Fraud. In Scotland, report it to Police Scotland on 101. If you are in danger, call 999.

For intimate image abuse, the Revenge Porn Helpline supports adults on 0345 6000 459 (weekdays, 10am to 4pm) and at help@revengepornhelpline.org.uk.

Where can you report it and get help in the US?

Report online fraud and sextortion to the FBI's Internet Crime Complaint Center at ic3.gov, or call 1-800-CALL-FBI. You can also report scams to the Federal Trade Commission at ReportFraud.ftc.gov. If you are in danger, call 911.

Elsewhere, contact your local police. Our Safety Centre lists emergency numbers and free support for every country we serve.

How does No Strings Dating help?

We check before anyone sees you: a selfie age check for every member and a moderator check on every photo. Profiles that look like scams are stopped before they reach you, and verified members carry a red tick. We never ask you for money outside our own checkout, and we never ask you to verify yourself on another site.

If something feels off, report it. The member is not told who reported them. Our guide to sexting safely covers keeping your photos private in the first place.

Quick answers