Hotwife dating: the fantasy, done with care
By Lottie Williams, Head of Content
Updated
In a hotwife relationship, she sees other people and her partner is not just aware but delighted about it. Sometimes he watches, sometimes he hears about it afterwards, sometimes he simply enjoys knowing. It is a fantasy built entirely on trust, which is why it only works when both of you truly want it.
What the words mean
The terms overlap, and couples use them differently. Roughly:
- Hotwife: a woman in a committed relationship who meets other people with her partner's enthusiastic agreement.
- Cuckold: a similar setup where the partner at home enjoys an element of being left out, or of being teased about it. It can be playful, or part of a dominant and submissive dynamic.
- Bull: the man she meets. There is a Bull option under Joining others for men who are happy to be that person.
Is it right for you both?
It often starts as his fantasy, which is exactly why it needs care. She has to want it for herself, not to please him. If either of you is going along with it, wait. Talk about how you will feel during and afterwards, what is off limits, and whether you want to be there, nearby or nowhere near.
Start smaller than the fantasy: flirty chat, a drink with someone, then talk. Our guide to swinging and open relationships has good advice on agreements and jealousy, and both apply here.
For the man she meets
Respect both of them. Read both profiles if they have them, ask what the rules are, and follow them to the letter. She chooses, and her partner's comfort matters too. A man who tries to undermine the couple or push past an agreement will not be asked back, and should not be.
How it works on No Strings Dating
Every profile is one person. There are no joint couple profiles, so each partner sets up their own and says in the first line of their own words that they are part of a couple, and what the two of you are looking for.
Pick "Threesome" or "Group fun" in what you are up for, and set your Relationship setup to "Ethically non-monogamous" or "Partner knows". That answer only shows on your full profile, never on cards. The optional Kink and fantasy section adds Joining others, with "Happy to join a couple", "Unicorn", "Bull", "FFM", "MMF", "Group play" and "Hotwife / cuckold scenes", plus "Swingers clubs" under Clubs and events. Use what fits and leave the rest for chat.
Everyone knows, everyone agrees
Everything on these pages rests on one rule: every person involved knows and agrees, including any partner at home. If your partner does not know, this is not the page for you, and our affairs page is more honest about what that involves.
It is also dating, not a marketplace. Nobody here pays or is paid for company or sex, and advertising it breaks our rules. Every member is over 18 and has passed an age check, and whatever happens, happens in private, never anywhere the public could see.
Meeting safely
Meet for a drink somewhere public first, all of you, with nothing promised. Use Safety check-in to tell a friend where you will be, have your own way home, and keep the chat on the site until you trust everyone.
More people means more reason to look after your health: use condoms, agree what protection applies with everyone, and test regularly. Our sexual health guide and the Safety Centre list free, confidential services in every country we serve. Anyone can stop at any point, and you can close any chat with one tap.
Quick answers
What is a hotwife?
A woman in a committed relationship who meets other people with her partner's full and enthusiastic agreement. Often her partner enjoys it as much as she does.
What is the difference between a hotwife and a cuckold?
They overlap. Cuckolding usually adds an element of the partner at home being left out or teased, sometimes as part of a dominant and submissive dynamic.
How do I say I am a hotwife on my profile?
Pick "Hotwife / cuckold scenes" under Joining others, set your Relationship setup to "Partner knows", and say as much as you like in your own words.
What is a bull?
The man a hotwife meets. Men who are happy to be that person can choose Bull under Joining others.
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