Threesome dating: couples and thirds, honestly
By Lottie Williams, Head of Content
Updated · First published
A threesome is one of the most talked-about fantasies and one of the least often arranged. The hard part is rarely the night itself. It is finding the right person, or the right couple, and both sides knowing they want the same thing before anyone says hello.
Two sides of the same search
Threesome dating has two kinds of people in it: couples looking for a third, and singles who would like to be one. Each has what the other wants, so the trick is simply being easy to find and clear about what you are after.
Couples: each of you picks "Threesome" and says in the first line that you are a couple, with a word or two about the other half. Singles: pick "Threesome", and in Joining others choose "Happy to join a couple", "FFM" or "MMF" if they fit. A single woman who joins couples may choose "Unicorn"; the nickname is common, and so is the respect she is owed.
Writing a profile that gets the right replies
A threesome profile works best when it answers the questions people would otherwise have to ask.
- Who you are: a couple, or a single, and roughly what you are into.
- What you are looking for: a woman, a man, anyone, a one-off or something you might repeat.
- What you are not looking for, said kindly.
- How you like to start: "Chat first" or "Video call first" in How do you like to meet? tells people you will not rush.
- Whether you can host, or would prefer "Hotel / neutral place".
The first message
Open with something from their profile, not a list of what you want. Couples: let both of you be part of the conversation early, because a third will want to know the quieter partner is keen too. Singles: ask both partners a question. Our in-depth guide on how to find a third covers the agreements, the first meet and aftercare in detail, so we will not repeat it here.
How it works on No Strings Dating
Every profile is one person. There are no joint couple profiles, so each partner sets up their own and says in the first line of their own words that they are part of a couple, and what the two of you are looking for.
Pick "Threesome" or "Group fun" in what you are up for, and set your Relationship setup to "Ethically non-monogamous" or "Partner knows". That answer only shows on your full profile, never on cards. The optional Kink and fantasy section adds Joining others, with "Happy to join a couple", "Unicorn", "Bull", "FFM", "MMF", "Group play" and "Hotwife / cuckold scenes", plus "Swingers clubs" under Clubs and events. Use what fits and leave the rest for chat.
Everyone knows, everyone agrees
Everything on these pages rests on one rule: every person involved knows and agrees, including any partner at home. If your partner does not know, this is not the page for you, and our affairs page is more honest about what that involves.
It is also dating, not a marketplace. Nobody here pays or is paid for company or sex, and advertising it breaks our rules. Every member is over 18 and has passed an age check, and whatever happens, happens in private, never anywhere the public could see.
Meeting safely
Meet for a drink somewhere public first, all of you, with nothing promised. Use Safety check-in to tell a friend where you will be, have your own way home, and keep the chat on the site until you trust everyone.
More people means more reason to look after your health: use condoms, agree what protection applies with everyone, and test regularly. Our sexual health guide and the Safety Centre list free, confidential services in every country we serve. Anyone can stop at any point, and you can close any chat with one tap.
Quick answers
How do I find a threesome near me?
Pick Threesome in what you are up for, set your distance, and browse people who share the tag. Read profiles first and open with something you have in common.
How do couples find a third?
Each partner sets up their own profile, picks Threesome and says they are part of a couple. Then talk to potential thirds as equals and meet for a drink first.
What is a unicorn?
A slang term for a single person, usually a bisexual woman, who joins couples. There is a Unicorn option under Joining others for people who are happy to use it.
Can I join a couple if I am a single man?
Yes. Pick Threesome, and choose "Happy to join a couple" or "MMF" under Joining others if they fit. Couples looking for a man will find you there.
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