Gay, bi and queer casual dating: a straightforward guide

Is No Strings Dating for gay, bi and queer people?

Yes. You choose who you want to meet (women, men or everyone), and search shows you people who match. Gay and bi men, lesbian and bi women, and anyone open to more than one gender all use the same tools.

You can also add the words that fit you under "Also identify as": bi-curious, pansexual, heteroflexible, queer or non-binary. Pick as many as are true, or none. They tell people something about you without you having to explain it in every chat.

How do I make it clear what I want?

Set three things and most of the guesswork disappears: who you are into, your intention tags, and your boundaries. Intention tags cover what you are up for, from a one-off or something regular to flirty chat, a threesome or exploring kinks, and the things you are not up for sit right next to them.

There are optional extras if you want them. "Your tribe" lets you describe yourself (bear, otter, femme, butch and more), and a position answer shows only on your full profile, never on cards or public pages. Then add a line or two in your own words, short and specific, and you are done.

Bi-curious, or trying it for the first time?

Being curious is a perfectly good reason to be here, as long as you are honest about it. Tick bi-curious, set your experience to "New to this", and choose "Chat first" or "Video call first" as your meeting style. The right people will find that reassuring rather than off-putting.

Go at your own pace. A drink first is fine, stopping halfway is fine, and deciding it is not for you is fine. What is not fine is treating someone as an experiment: they are a person, not a box to tick. Our first hook-up guide covers agreeing the basics and checking in.

Out, discreet or somewhere in between

You can date as openly or as privately as you like, and neither is better. Plenty of people are out to everyone, some are out to friends but not at work, and some are not out at all yet. Set your Discretion answer so people know where you stand.

Profiles never appear on public pages or in search engines, you can keep photos private and share them person by person, and payments show under a neutral company name. The golden rule cuts both ways: never out anyone else, never screenshot their profile, and block rather than mention it if you spot someone you know. Our guide to discreet dating goes further.

Meeting safely

Meet somewhere public first, tell a friend where you are, and be wary of anyone who wants you straight round to an address they have not shared before. Police in the UK and Australia have warned about people using dating apps to lure gay and bi men to a meeting and then rob or attack them. It is rare, but the habits that stop it are easy.

• Look for the red tick, which means a photo and ID check, and suggest a quick video call if someone will not show their face.
• Use Safety check-in to send a friend the who, where and when.
• Keep your own way home, and leave if the person who turns up is not the person you chatted to.
• Hosting? Wait until you have met in public at least once.

Outing threats and sextortion

If someone threatens to out you or share your photos unless you pay, do not pay: it is blackmail, a crime in the UK and most other countries, and paying rarely ends it. Stop replying, keep screenshots, usernames and any payment details, then block them and report it to the police and to us from their profile or chat.

In the UK, Galop, the LGBT+ anti-abuse charity, runs a free helpline for adults on 0800 999 5428 (weekdays). Adults anywhere can use StopNCII.org to help stop intimate images being shared. Our guide to sexting safely covers keeping photos untraceable in the first place, and the Safety Centre lists help in every country we serve.

Sexual health: PrEP, doxyPEP and testing

Condoms, regular testing and, for some people, PrEP are the basics, and a sexual health clinic can help with all three in confidence. PrEP is medication that is highly effective at preventing HIV when taken as prescribed. It is free from NHS sexual health clinics in the UK, and through the HSE in Ireland.

DoxyPEP is an antibiotic taken after sex to lower the risk of some bacterial infections, such as syphilis. It is not for everyone: UK guidance published in 2025 says clinics should offer it to people at higher risk of syphilis, and the CDC in the US recommends it for gay and bi men and trans women who have had a bacterial STI in the past year. It does not protect against HIV. Ask a clinic whether it suits you, and never buy it online without advice.

Your profile has an optional safer sex answer (always safer sex, discuss first, or regularly tested) that shows only on your full profile. Our guide to sexual health and casual dating lists free testing country by country.

Respect: describe yourself, never exclude others

Say what you are into, not who you are against. "Into bigger guys" tells people something useful. "No fats, no fems", "straight-acting only" or any line ruling out a race or body type just tells people how you treat them, and the people you would actually like will scroll straight past.

The same goes for fetishising. Bi women are not an accessory for a couple (our guide to finding a third covers doing that respectfully), and trans and non-binary people are not a novelty. Use the words people use for themselves. If anyone sends you something hateful, close the chat and report it: a person reads every report.

Staying safe

Casual does not mean careless. A few habits make a big difference, and the site is built around them.

• Look for the red tick. Verified members have passed a photo and ID check.
• Meet somewhere public first, and use Safety check-in to tell a friend where and when.
• Keep the chat on the site until you are sure. Anyone who pushes you off it quickly, or asks for money, is someone to report.
• Close any chat that does not feel right. One tap, no explanations needed.
• Report anything odd. Reports are reviewed by a person, and every photo is checked before it goes live.

What it costs, in UK prices

Joining, building your profile and browsing are free. You pay only when you want to message, and you choose how long for.

Passes never renew. Plans that do renew send you a reminder first, and you can cancel in two taps. Payments show on your statement under a neutral company name.

The prices below are UK prices, in pounds. Wherever you are, our prices page shows them in your own currency.

• 24-hour pass: £1.99, perfect for a free night
• 1 week: £4.99
• 1 month: £9.99, the main plan
• 3 months: £19.99
• Women who verify get full membership free, for as long as they stay active

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