What does NSA mean in dating? A plain answer

What does NSA mean?

NSA means "no strings attached". When someone writes NSA on a dating profile, they are saying they want something casual: sex, flirting or fun with no expectation of a relationship, exclusivity or a future together.

The phrase is old. It was in personal ads in newspapers long before apps existed, which is why you still see it written as three capital letters. The meaning has not changed: two adults enjoying each other, with no promises beyond the ones they make.

What does NSA look like in practice?

It looks different for different people. For some it is a one night stand. For others it is someone they see now and then, or a regular arrangement that fits around work and the rest of life. The common thread is that nobody is auditioning for a partner.

• A one-off hook-up with someone you fancy and may never see again.
• An occasional meet-up whenever you are both free, with no pressure in between.
• A regular arrangement, often called friends with benefits, with a bit more warmth and routine.
• A fling while you are travelling or between relationships.

Is NSA the same as a hook-up or friends with benefits?

Not quite. A hook-up is one meeting. Friends with benefits is a regular arrangement with someone you like. NSA is the umbrella over both: it describes the expectations (none beyond what you agree), not how often you meet.

If you want something regular, our guide to friends with benefits rules covers the agreements that keep it easy. If one night is more your style, one night stands covers the etiquette and the morning after.

What NSA does not mean

No strings is not the same as no rules. Consent still matters every time, and a yes earlier is not a yes now. Honesty still matters: if you are seeing other people, or you are in a relationship, the person you meet deserves to know before they decide. Safer sex still matters too, and our sexual health guide covers testing and protection.

It also does not mean cold. The best NSA arrangements are friendly, generous and kind. You can be clear that you do not want a relationship and still be lovely company.

How do you say you want NSA without sounding cold?

Keep it simple and warm. "Looking for something fun and easy, not a relationship" says everything, and it reads better than a list of what you do not want. On No Strings Dating, intention tags such as One-off hook-up and Regular / FWB do most of the talking, so everyone knows before they say hello.

In conversation, say it early rather than late. A light "just so you know, I'm after something casual" in the first few messages saves both of you time, and the people who want the same thing will be relieved you said it first.

Where do people find NSA dating?

Mostly online, on sites and apps where people can say what they want up front. Some are good; some are full of fake profiles and billing tricks. Our guide to NSA dating sites explains how to tell them apart, and our pillar guide to no strings attached dating goes deeper on doing it well.

On No Strings Dating, everyone is 21 or over and passes a selfie age check before anyone can see them, and you browse people near you who picked the same intentions. Joining and browsing are free; how it works has the detail.

Other dating abbreviations you will see

Profiles are full of shorthand. These are the ones that come up most around casual dating.

• FWB: friends with benefits, a regular casual arrangement with someone you like.
• ONS: one night stand.
• LTR: long-term relationship, usually what NSA is not.
• ENM: ethical non-monogamy, where everyone involved knows and agrees.
• Discreet: someone who wants privacy, often because they are not out or do not want to be recognised.

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